Pig-head egg rolls

First off, I know you want lots of photos. Here you go.

Ingredients

• Slice of pig-head roll
• Sliced carrot
• bean sprouts
• Datu Puti vinegar
• Egg roll wrappers

Directions

• Thinly slice a bit of carrot.
• Get you a nice slice of pig-head roll. Trim off the fattiest outer section and cut this fairly thin.
• Place the sliced fatty bits into a wok and heat up so as to render the fat out. This is what you'll be frying in. If it looks like you need more, get more pig head roll.
• Dice up the remaining pig head roll and fry up in the oil. Splash (carefully, that is) in some Datu Puti cane vinegar to taste. Let that stuff fry up for a bit, but don't overdo it. Use a wire strainer to remove the cooked pig bits from the wok, and for now, remove the wok from heat.
• Assemble egg rolls using the fried pig, along with carrot and bean sprouts.
• Return the wok to the heat, and using the fat remaining in the wok, fry up some nice egg rolls. Should there not be sufficient fat in there for frying, supplement with sesame oil if necessary.
• Serve over rice, and provide a large bottle of that egg roll sauce, the "honey and hot chili pepper" stuff you get at restaurants.

The above is what I ate for dinner tonight. The texture of that pig head meat? Well, it's a mix of globby collagen fat, cracklin' fried fat, nice meaty pork, and more fat. Fat! If you've heard of a Chinese dish called Kau Yuk, you'll know what I'm talking about. It sounds disgusting, but eating a bunch of pig fat in various states of fattiness is an occasional treat, trust me. There is plenty of good pork meat in there, mind you, but yeah, it's fatty. Sort of a bacon egg roll.

I cooked up six of those egg rolls, and they were a feast. I'm trying to cut back after all the Christmas overindulgence, but this sure wasn't in the plan. This meal, basically consisting of fatty pig fried in pig fat, probably has enough calories to, well, you cram in an analogy. I'm tired at the moment. But oh it was good. So good. My wife picked up a bottle of that great "egg roll" dipping sauce at Red Apple, and the stuff is like this huge bottle for only $2.50. Well, I tanked probably a fourth of that bottle with the egg rolls. Had those egg rolls over hot jasmine rice, and man oh man, I pigged out. Pigged on pig head egg rolls. Afterwards, I was so carbo-overloaded, I crashed out on the couch for I think an hour. So good.