So the other night I go into the garage, where we keep a small pantry of food, including some Top Ramen. Our garage is quite cold, just above freezing. Of course, it's cold because it's -16 f. outside. So anyhow, I reach to get a few packages of ramen to bring up and replenish our kitchen. I pick up a package and notice it has a ragged hole in it, about the size of a quarter. The entire package is empty, other than the foil package of flavoring which is still in it.

"Hm. That's odd." I figure it was a factory defect or something. I grab the package behind it, and the package has a big ol' rip in it, and it looks like a hungry person bit out a quarter of it, it even had that rounded look as if a big mouth went "chomp" on it. I see a few grains of what looks like black rice, and realize, that ain't rice! We have a mouse in the garage, and it's eating our Top Ramen!

I go to Ace Hardware and spend a whopping $1.99 to acquire a two-pack of classic Victor snap traps, put a tempting dab of peanut butter on the bait lever, set them up around the box of Top Ramen, and call it a night. In the morning, lo and behold, there is the mousy culprit. He was a fat one! Doubtless, that mouse was spending the winter eating ramen. I guess mice love ramen. Oh yeah, it was so cold in the garage the mouse was basically frozen, his little tail stuck out, stiff as a board. Oh well, he went into the trash can along with the two ramen packages.

That was yesterday. Today is Saturday. I pull the food off the shelves and search for clues. In the box next to the ramen, I find our deceased rodent's winter home. We had a box of plastic "Thank You" bags, and he was clearly housed in there. The box reeked of nasty mouse urine, and brown stains were running down the white stack of bags. There were bits of mouse poo throughout it. Well, the bags are in the recycle bin (well, we use a plastic bag for bags, a meta-bag if you will), and the box is in the recycle bin, too. Both mouse traps are now on a silent watch, waiting to catch any other unwanted winter rodent vacationers we may be lodging. But that last guy, he's eaten his last Top Ramen.

Dear America: Christmas is a purely 100% Christian religious holiday where we believers celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is not half of a "Happy Holidays" nor is it open to evisceration on the autopsy table of political correctness. If this offends you:

1. Get over it. Believe it or not, the 1st Amendment protects us Christians too.
2. Get your own holiday. I hear April 1st is available.
3. If you want Santa Clause, take him. But you go get your own day for him [see #2].
4. The gifts? True those are getting commercialized and getting out of hand, but they represent the ultimate gift given to us in the form of God come down to men, in the form of a baby.
5. No apologies to Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc. You have your holidays, we have ours. I'm not going to force you to call a menorah a "holiday candleabra", nor would I call Ramadan a "winter carnival". Christmas is Christmas and Christmas is Christian. Deal with it.

I have much to give thanks for; family, friends, Jesus. This isn't about any of that stuff, though, this is just a snapshot of market conditions.

Symbol	Last Price	$ Chg	Volume	Bid	Ask	High	Prev Close
$DWCPF	584.13	-16.75	4,360,541	0.00	0.00	597.11	600.88

So okay, $DWCPF closed at $584.13. Last time I checked on September 30th 2011, $DWCPF was at $559.01.

So what did the TSP do since September 2011?

Date	L Income	L 2020	L 2030	L 2040	L 2050	G Fund	F Fund	C Fund	S Fund	I Fund
Nov 23, 2011	14.7408	16.2666	16.4126	16.5711	8.9736	13.7940	15.2539	14.3087	18.9481	16.4899
Nov 22, 2011	14.8098	16.4868	16.6899	16.8941	9.1721	13.7933	15.2350	14.6310	19.4919	16.9331
Nov 21, 2011	14.8211	16.5241	16.7377	16.9503	9.2066	13.7926	15.2300	14.6909	19.6145	16.9866
Nov 18, 2011	14.8815	16.7223	16.9864	17.2397	9.3856	13.7906	15.2174	14.9693	20.0009	17.4752
Nov 17, 2011	14.8812	16.7189	16.9825	17.2354	9.3821	13.7900	15.2422	14.9741	20.0130	17.4266
Nov 16, 2011	14.9238	16.8539	17.1539	17.4357	9.5050	13.7893	15.2235	15.2293	20.3621	17.5959
Nov 15, 2011	14.9692	16.9988	17.3371	17.6493	9.6366	13.7887	15.2065	15.4823	20.6879	17.8425
Nov 14, 2011	14.9656	16.9928	17.3261	17.6352	9.6293	13.7880	15.2322	15.4057	20.4871	18.0541
Nov 10, 2011	14.9264	16.8736	17.1773	17.4623	9.5229	13.7853	15.2151	15.2548	20.2443	17.7507
Nov 09, 2011	14.9077	16.8128	17.1006	17.3731	9.4674	13.7847	15.2619	15.1222	20.1219	17.6733
Nov 08, 2011	15.0264	17.1996	17.5903	17.9463	9.8222	13.7840	15.2285	15.6967	21.0331	18.5256
Nov 07, 2011	14.9933	17.0929	17.4557	17.7896	9.7251	13.7833	15.2724	15.5052	20.8059	18.3334
Nov 04, 2011	14.9768	17.0489	17.4031	17.7302	9.6891	13.7813	15.2537	15.4072	20.8357	18.2563
Nov 03, 2011	14.9960	17.1139	17.4833	17.8227	9.7470	13.7807	15.2379	15.5041	20.8697	18.4636
Nov 02, 2011	14.9362	16.9224	17.2415	17.5405	9.5729	13.7800	15.2696	15.2154	20.4032	18.0703
Nov 01, 2011	14.8923	16.7865	17.0675	17.3362	9.4478	13.7794	15.2758	14.9738	19.9608	17.9251
Oct 31, 2011	14.9716	17.0518	17.4060	17.7338	9.6954	13.7788	15.1962	15.4028	20.6384	18.4671
Oct 28, 2011	15.0583	17.3521	17.7848	18.1773	9.9741	13.7769	15.1264	15.7933	21.1507	19.4228
Oct 27, 2011	15.0595	17.3681	17.8057	18.2024	9.9917	13.7763	15.0600	15.7869	21.1980	19.5561
Oct 26, 2011	14.9411	16.9789	17.3147	17.6286	9.6354	13.7757	15.1308	15.2625	20.3107	18.5667
Oct 25, 2011	14.9085	16.8715	17.1779	17.4681	9.5356	13.7751	15.1660	15.1032	20.0128	18.3392
Oct 24, 2011	14.9604	17.0418	17.3960	17.7241	9.6937	13.7745	15.0880	15.4119	20.5476	18.5524
Oct 21, 2011	14.9110	16.8854	17.1951	17.4869	9.5478	13.7726	15.1018	15.2161	19.9420	18.2760
Oct 20, 2011	14.8523	16.7012	16.9631	17.2166	9.3817	13.7720	15.1091	14.9347	19.5060	17.9144
Oct 19, 2011	14.8431	16.6753	16.9304	17.1789	9.3589	13.7714	15.1152	14.8667	19.4405	17.9250
Oct 18, 2011	14.8841	16.8078	17.0982	17.3751	9.4798	13.7708	15.1048	15.0549	19.7952	18.1982
Oct 17, 2011	14.8278	16.6346	16.8780	17.1174	9.3224	13.7702	15.1038	14.7533	19.2894	17.9857
Oct 14, 2011	14.8878	16.8337	17.1313	17.4144	9.5058	13.7683	15.0583	15.0443	19.8538	18.3845
Oct 13, 2011	14.8410	16.6874	16.9466	17.1992	9.3738	13.7677	15.0862	14.7873	19.4865	18.1691
Oct 12, 2011	14.8426	16.6966	16.9580	17.2120	9.3823	13.7671	15.0408	14.8299	19.4797	18.1657
Oct 11, 2011	14.8053	16.5762	16.8074	17.0370	9.2740	13.7665	15.0662	14.6840	19.2091	17.8437
Oct 07, 2011	14.7009	16.2560	16.4060	16.5712	8.9889	13.7640	15.0854	14.1921	18.4473	17.2557
Oct 06, 2011	14.7302	16.3441	16.5193	16.7046	9.0693	13.7634	15.1258	14.3079	18.8172	17.3497
Oct 05, 2011	14.6662	16.1416	16.2666	16.4118	8.8893	13.7628	15.1598	14.0493	18.3490	16.8677
Oct 04, 2011	14.6162	15.9874	16.0747	16.1906	8.7542	13.7622	15.2192	13.7955	18.0049	16.6123
Oct 03, 2011	14.5494	15.7797	15.8088	15.8787	8.5643	13.7616	15.2602	13.4902	17.1969	16.3709
Sep 30, 2011	14.6341	16.0594	16.1640	16.2946	8.8202	13.7594	15.1799	13.8852	18.0889	16.8677
Sep 29, 2011	14.7135	16.3121	16.4781	16.6583	9.0436	13.7587	15.1611	14.2409	18.5973	17.4393
Sep 28, 2011	14.6773	16.1974	16.3369	16.4948	8.9426	13.7580	15.1347	14.1257	18.4284	17.0617
Sep 27, 2011	14.7396	16.3939	16.5864	16.7866	9.1206	13.7573	15.1212	14.4202	19.0935	17.3280
Sep 26, 2011	14.6946	16.2429	16.3983	16.5680	8.9846	13.7566	15.1780	14.2678	18.7457	16.8697
Sep 23, 2011	14.6346	16.0609	16.1734	16.3097	8.8269	13.7545	15.2385	13.9422	18.4002	16.5938
Sep 22, 2011	14.6151	15.9912	16.0852	16.2066	8.7620	13.7538	15.3158	13.8562	18.1924	16.4106
Sep 21, 2011	14.7046	16.2819	16.4504	16.6316	9.0243	13.7531	15.2432	14.3119	18.8751	16.9752
Sep 20, 2011	14.7884	16.5514	16.7893	17.0264	9.2672	13.7524	15.1937	14.7453	19.5334	17.4556
Sep 19, 2011	14.7939	16.5686	16.8156	17.0598	9.2866	13.7517	15.2047	14.7694	19.8205	17.3639

Looks like the S lost a tad, and the F gained a dime or two.

What is the F? According to the TSP website...

F Fund Facts By law, the F Fund must be invested in fixed-income securities. The Federal Retirement Thrift Investment Board has chosen to invest the F Fund in an index fund that tracks the Barclays Capital U.S. Aggregate (U.S. Aggregate) Bond Index, formerly the Lehman Brothers U.S. Aggregate Index, a broadly diversified index of the U.S. bond market.

You can read more by reading the attached FFund.pdf file.

• http://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Barclays_Capital_US_Aggregate_Bond_Index
• http://us.ishares.com/product_info/fund/overview/AGG.htm

This stuff here, Shirakiku yam noodle, is the perfect substitute for spaghetti or ramen noodles when you are looking for a zero-calorie and near zero-carb experience. I found these at New Sagaya, a local market that carries Japanese products along with other Asian specialties. My favorite joint, Red Apple, doesn't carry Japanese brands such as Shirakiku, so you might need to look around a bit.

Anyhow, here is the low-down on yam noodle. They stink. Of course they won't mention that on the bag, but trust me, they smell unappealing. So here is the trick: Before using them, open the package up into a colander, and rinse them under cold water for a minute or so to get most of the smell of them.

For chicken soup or ramen, I toss 'em into whatever I'm cooking up so they boil along in there for three minutes or so. They work pretty well like that. As for spaghetti, well, I think I'd boil the noodles in the spaghetti sauce for a few minutes. But yam noodle, yeah. You'll like 'em if you can find 'em.

With this guy right here. Had one of these Conair hair dryers. I like it. Well, liked it. Lately it started acting up where it wouldn't come on unless I reset the GFI on the outlet in the bathroom. Well, today, whatever the problem was, it came to a head. While I was drying my hair, there was a big ol' flash and a loud pop from the cord near where it plugs into the outlet, and poof, that big dumb "Don't use while in the bathtub" tag caught fire!

I yelled out "Whoa, the hairdryer caught fire!" which of course got my wife's attention. Anyhow, I plucked it outta the wall socket and doused the tag. It left a black scorch mark on the wall, and the room had that nasty acrid melted plastic insulation smell for a while. Ugh. But yeah, go figure, it was that ridiculous warning tag that actually lit up and started burning. You know, this was the one time in that hairdryer's life when I did toss it under water. Unplugged, of course. So the only loss was the hairdryer itself. I'd buy another one just like it, but perhaps not exactly like it...

What's wrong with this picture?

They ask which Middle-Eastern country is highlighted, according to them, the answer is Israel. Well, I'm here to tell you, the area pictured might have been the answer prior to 1967, but it's 2011, and that sure ain't the answer. Regardless of your views on the nation of Israel, to declare otherwise is to deny the facts, which of course is something the Liberal Media does every minute of every day.

So now that I'm back in the low-carb lifestyle, I'm finding it difficult to scratch the hot chocolate itch. In the past I did have some Swiss Miss diet cocoa, but it was a pain to work with. The stuff was apparently made to refuse to dissolve in water no matter what. The taste was okay at best, and each pack had 4 grams of carbohydrates in it. Not bad, but not terribly satisfying either.

After some online reading, I found folks referencing the stuff you see here, Chatfields All Natural Cocoa Powder.

I located some at a local health food store, and gave it a go. This is excellent stuff. First off, it is unsweetened. No sugar, no artificial sweetener, nothing. Just cocoa powder. Each teaspoon is two grams of carbohydrates, but one of those grams is fiber, so you got one net carb per traspoon. Not bad at all.

So on to the hot chocolate. Heat up a cup of hot water. I use a heaping teaspoon (which I bet is more like a tablespoon and a quarter) along with a splash of Da Vinci Sugar Free Kahlua syrup to sweeten it up, and the stuff mixes up great. The chocolate is ground extremely fine, and dissolves perfectly. Excellent stuff indeed.

Well, in a previous quote, back on May 24th 2011, $DWCPF was at $699.06. Today is September 30th 2011 and $DWCPF is at $559.01, a 16% loss in a few months. Well, I've done pretty lousy with a lot of investments, but praise Jesus, this time I avoided this particular hit.

I've spent the last few months in the G fund, which pays out about as well as looking for lost dimes on the sidewalk. But you know what? I'll take a 1% gain over a 16% loss any day. However, it's pretty hard to plan on a retirement income from a 1% investment.

Looking at the TSP's historical rates of return, the F fund, which is mostly bonds, has been paying out in the 5% range, even through the 2008 collapse. With the US getting a beat-down in the S&P ratings, it is an inevitability that the fed, state governments, and municipalities will be paying more for borrowed money. So, I'm expecting the F to actually improve it's rate of return over what will likely be a moribund season for the stock market.

update 03 Oct 2011: I thought I went in half F half G, but when I got the confirmation letter, it was 2/3 F, 1/3 G.

I've always liked Ritter Sport chocolates. Excellent stuff, typically. These are the chocolates which come in a package containing 16 squares in a 4x4 grid, yet the package says "Servings per package: 3". Anyhow, they got a lot of great flavors, usually. So I'm looking at the shelf and see a flavor I didn't see before, in a nice gold package. Upon reading, it says "cornflake". Cornflake? Yeah, as in cornflakes.

A week later, I went and bought one. Today, in fact. I'm here to tell you, despite what you might expect, this is really great stuff! Somehow, the cornflake makes for a crunch which is a tad crunchier than puffed rice, and quite a bit more robust. It doesn't taste like a bowl of Corn Flakes. It's just Ritter Sport goodness. So, along with the White Chocolate Hazelnut, and Dark Chocolate Hazelnut, I'll put this one in my list of Ritter Sport bars to reach for.

Oh yeah, is this Atkins friendly? Haha, no way! Is it low fat? Nope. Low carb? nope. Low sugar? You kiddin' me? What I got here is a "guilty pleasure", and today, call me guilty.